


Let this thing we found together be good...

by 23piecesofpizza



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, The girls make more of an appearance in chapter 2, The rest of the girls are there as well but only in like a passing mention, toni and shelby navigating their relationship on the island
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28122009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/23piecesofpizza/pseuds/23piecesofpizza
Summary: This is sort of a missing scene(s) set somewhere after Marthas episode and right before the shark attack (or we can just pretend that didnt happen) and theyre all still on the islandToni and Shelby talk about their new “relationship” if you could call it that and cute (well mostly some angst is there too) shit happens
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 31
Kudos: 553





	1. Chapter 1

It’s terrifying. The island. The not knowing whats coming next, how each passing second the will to survive gets harder and harder to hold on to. At this point it may just be easier to lay down in the sand and let the water take you. Fuck, this must be what Leah felt like when she tried to drown herself.

Toni sits alone up on the bluff, picking at the dried beach grass around her trying to get some space from the rest of the girls. She grabs a couple of pieces of grass in her hand liking the sound it makes as it uproots from the sandy dirt. She keeps going through these phases of internal panic and external calm, its giving her a weird case of whiplash and the only thing grounding her in this moment is the crumbled up grass that now resides in her palm. Toni rubs her hands together to rid them of the pieces of grass and she watches them catch on the wind, slowly floating away in the soft breeze. She cradles both of her legs back into herself, her chin resting on both of her knees as she looks out over the ocean. 

Meanwhile, Shelby takes Toni in from down below on the shore where she also sits alone on one of the pieces of diftwood the group has made into a bench like piece of diy furniture. The other girls are spread out amongst themselves, Dot and Fatin are laughing together about something Shelby didnt catch, Rachel and Nora are doing their sibling duo thing they always do and well Leah, Leah is the one closest to Shelby picking at her fingernails and digging her shoeless feet into the sand while Martha sits opposite her watching her with a raised eyebrow but not saying a word. Shelby, though, she thinks the world could be collapsing and she wouldn’t have noticed, shes been staring at Toni for so long now time really doesnt exist to her. 

Shelby rolls her eyes at herself, the island and this very pretty girl who she just had sex with not a day ago is getting to her and she is letting it consume her in the best of ways. God when Toni said she should be free and take advantage of the island Shelby doesnt exactly think this is what she meant but its working for her. Shelby once again casts her gaze up to Toni who looks like shes now falling asleep on her knees and Shelby bites her lip, thinking about how cute the anger filled basketball player looks right then and there. Looking around she tries to be discrete as possible as she stands, dusting the damp dark grey sand off her the best she can. She then starts to make her way towards the bluff hill but not before Martha asks her where shes going. Clearly she doesnt have a lick of stealthyness in her. Fuck.

If the sun hadnt already turned all their faces red and dry cracked from sunburn, Martha in that moment wouldve seen just how red her questioning made Shelby. 

Shelby stammers out a bumbling reply “Uh...yeah im just...gonna go take a walk, clear my head a bit maybe clean the old teeth...um yeah ill uh... be back” 

Shelby quickly turns away from Martha and Leah who doesnt pay any mind to her and Martha just sends her a look and shrugs and lets her go without issue. Shelby scrubs at her face with her hands in total embarrassment but continues her trek up the bluff. After awhile she lets her walk calm her and her beating heart, her hand slowly brushing along the tops of the grass. 

Toni doesnt hear the footsteps getting increasingly close to her from behind, shes two seconds away from falling asleep on her knees. A tiny pool of drool has already began to form on her left knee making the black fabric two shades darker in its wetness. Shelby reaches Toni then, and seeing the girl with her eyes closed and breathing slow, she sits herself down beside her as quietly as possible assuming shes asleep. Tonis right arm is resting haphazardly off to the side of her while her left arm has her knees squeezed in tight to her chest, Shelby thinks she looks cold and so darn cute. Thankfully, Shelby was already wearing one of Fatins jackets and she takes it off herself to gently place atop Toni who is now dead to the world in sleep. Shelby makes sure the jacket wont fall off the sleeping girl and sits down again to the right of her, a bit closer now so they can share body heat. Shelby makes sure she is careful to not crowd Tonis space in case she does wake up. 

After situating herself comfortably, Shelby notices Tonis right hand laying close to her thigh so without reallythinking Shelby scoops it up in both of hers and begins to draw the gentlest of patterns on Tonis palm, every so often hitting a callus that has sunk its way into Tonis well worn hands even for her age. Shelby turns over Tonis hand in hers then and gets a look at the scarring and rough patches on Tonis knuckles, most likely due to the many fights shes gotten herself into. Shelby smiles a sad little smile at the thought of the girl next to her, the stupid hothead, getting herself into so much trouble. Shelby shakes her head with a slight smirk and pink dusting her burnt face and turns Tonis hand back over in her left and laces their fingers together. 

Their hands slot so easily together, two pieces of the same puzzle finally slotting into place for the first time. To Shelby thats a scary feeling, something she has had drilled into her from the moment she was born was wrong, but how can something that feels so right, this goddamn good, be bad? Fuck that, she thinks, shes done feeling that way and letting herself live in fear of what shes always felt. This moment here with Toni next to her is the most free she has ever felt in her life and she’ll be damned if some book written ages ago by some man is going tell her how to live. 

After a few moments of slow nothingness, Toni begins to move, a sure sign shes waking up from the nap she hadn’t thought she was going to take. The island had its way with her that afternoon and fuck if she’s exhausted and hungry and thirsty she can take a damn nap if she wants. Toni as she finally blinks her bleary eyes awake, she first feels the weight of something surrounding her body, the next is a warm but slightly clammy weight in her hand and the third is the crick in her neck from falling asleep at such a weird angle on her knees. Toni rolls her neck out as she stretches her legs out in front of her and finally spots Shelby beside her.Shelby for her part doesnt make eye contact with Toni but a tiny little smile graces her face upon seeing the girl next to her as woken up. Yawning the loudest yawn Shelby as ever heard, Toni tries to speak mid yawn and the words get all mangled and she just laughs at herself before trying again “Hey” 

Toni yawns a little again and continues “ya know, you didnt have to come up here i just needed a sec...NOT THAT” she clears her throat “..not that your company is unwelcome cause its not i mean...fuck” Toni starts to ramble away still sounding half awake, her deep voice somehow a whole octave lower clearly still coated with sleep. 

Shelby looks at her then, she can see Toni is kind of out her element here, nervous even which is a cute look on her “Honestly Toni” Shelby begins in that southern drawl of hers that Toni finds super endearing “if you want to be alone you can kick me out, i just...i wanted to see you. I was starting to go outta my mind down there with the rest of the girls and ever since our...um... our night together you’ve been so calm and i really needed some of the calmness you seem to suddenly have loads of to shift over to me, hince why i am holding your hand” 

Shelby raises their still intertwined hands into the air a bit as to make a point but she isnt fooling anyone especially not Toni.

Toni huffs a laugh out at her, rolls her eyes playfully. She then squeezes Shelbys hand in hers gently and just looks at her silently for a moment, a dopey half grin plastered on her face. “If you wanted to hold my hand that bad all you had to do was ask, Shelb.” Toni gives her a flirty wink then, the nickname not going unnoticed by either of them.

“Fine ok, i wanted to hold your hand. Is that ok?”

“More than, come here” Toni begins to pull Shelby closer into her, her legs now outstretched in front of her. Shelby climbs in between Tonis legs and situates herself comfortably to lean back against Tonis chest, the back of Shelbys head resting on one of Tonis shoulders. Toni moves her head so she can rest her chin on Shelbys head and together they sit like that, hands intertwined, bodys connected as they watch the sun sink beneath the waves. The jacket Shelby gave to Toni now being used as a makeshift blanket for the two of them, however, their bodies were doing most of the heating work. They were both comfortable sitting with each other, enjoying the waves and the voices of the girls who have after all they’ve been through together become their friends beneath them. 

As the sky begins to turn to sherbet, the pinks and oranges and purples that then quickly turn to dark blues and blacks as the moon makes its appearance, Toni begins to think of home or rather what shes made of the place she can call her own in Minnosota and suddenly another girl much like the one resting against her chest begins to fill a spot next to her in her head. The old truck bed filled with tattered blankets and old throw pillows now doesnt just include her, but Shelby is there laying with her. Shleby is there at the movies with her, the diner paycheck she worked so hard for blown all on one date. Shelby is there being carried on her back in the mall parking lot. Shelby is there after her basketball game, yelling her heart out for her star player, her number three from the stands all red faced and hot as hell. Shes there when they sneak off together to make out like the kids they are in the truck bed Toni has outfitted for occassions just like these. Shes here now too, body and soul connected with Tonis in this moment on this godforsaken island of all places. Somehow the both of them found this good thing in this odyssey of suck and has somehow made this bearable. 

Toni looks down at Shelby who is staring out across the ocean, a serene look on her face, and Toni takes a deep breath and smiles down at her girl. She kisses her forehead after a beat and rests her chin back on Shelbys head then thinks better of it and starts to talk softly “Shelby, im glad you came to find me. I dont want you to think that i dont want you around ok because thats the exact opposite of what i want, i want to do this with you and we’ll go at your pace and-“ 

Shelby turns around in Tonis lap, now straddling her and kisses her quiet. Toni brings a hand up to Shelbys face and cradles the girls face gently and tilts her head more to get lost in the kiss. Shelby pulls away after a moment and rests her dirt covered forehead onto Tonis slightly sweaty one and locks eyes with her. They both smile at each other, Shelby biting her lip a bit before leaving a quick peck on Tonis lips. 

“Its gonna take a minute for me to work out all of this internalized homophobia thats been hammered into me by my bible thumping daddy but” Shelby takes a breath and calms herself as Toni gives her a look of encouragement to continue. Shelby smiles in thanks and continues “i want this with you, whatever this is. I just know i want to be with you in whatever way youll have me.”

Shelby rights herself into a more comfortable position in Tonis lap after she finishes her mini speech. She just poured her heart out to Toni and to say she was terrified would be an understatement. Toni, for her part, takes all of what Shelby just said in and digests it for a moment. Toni knows shes the more “experienced” one out of the two of them in this scenario and she begins to choose her words carefully, she wants to take care of Shelby, protect her. She wishes things were different for her but this is what they have to work with and hey, Toni has never had it easy whats one more thing, ya know. 

Toni places her hands on Shelbys hips and slots the girl into her lap to ground her better. She then moves a hand up to Shelbys face and tucks a piece of errant hair caught in the wind behind her ear. 

“Like i said, you get to steer the ship, just ya know dont crash us ok” Toni jokes and Shelby scoffs and hits her in the shoulder, harder than Toni expected. 

“Ow fuck ok bad joke jeez. Shelb, i like you ok? We will work through this as much or as little as you want. I want to be with you, you want to be with me, i think for now that can be enough, is enough. We’ve already been through the worst shit, i dont think we should be scared of something that could be good.” 

Shelbys hands had been running a slightly erratic path through Tonis hair the whole time she was speaking but they begin to calm the longer she had gone on and have dulled to rubbing at Tonis scalp where her ponytail and her flyaway hairs rest. 

“We can do this only if you want to” Toni murmurs back her eyes getting hazy as she leans into Shelbys hands in her head.

“Oh I definitely want to” Shelby says with the biggest grin “does that feel good?” Shelby lets out a chuckle at the girl underneath her who is mewling like a kitten enjoying the attention.

“Fuck, babe, yes” Toni drawls out in her slow deep voice and Shelbys hips move on their own accord down into Tonis lap, hard.

“You calling me babe sounds nice” Shelby says, moving her hands down from Tonis head to rest on her shoulders.

Toni lets out a breathy laugh through her nose and smirks up at Shelby “yeah and i think you enjoyed it, alot” Toni sticks her tongue out at Shelby and laughs at her more as she smacks her shoulder again but Shelbys laughing too and their both laughing and its bliss. 

This is what being with someone is supposed to feel like they both think in that moment.

After their laughter dies down, they both bask in the silence for a moment just looking at the other with the softest eyes. Shelby stands and offers an outstretched hand to Toni who gladly takes it. 

“Come on you, im sure the girls are wondering where we went off to and if we dont want to be questioned anymore than we already are gonna be we should head back.” 

Toni nods and brushes herself off with one hand, the other is still holding on to Shelbys not letting her go after she offered to help her up. 

“Do you want to uh..tell them...about us i mean” Toni says after a moment of them walking hand in hand down the bluff.

And fuck Shelby hadnt thought that far ahead.

Shit. 


	2. Its gonna be ok in the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelby has a lot of thoughts, anxietys, and feelings about what other people will think of her and Tonis relationship and they all just happen to be the girls shes on a deserted island with...who she cant get away from....who shes stuck with for the forseeable future...fuck....but Toni is there beside her to help her through it

A necklace shouldnt feel like its burning through your skin right down to the bone and even past it, straight to your heart but Shelbys does in this moment. The cross silver necklace that has always been a lifeline to her in bouts of extreme anxiety is seeping into her skin like molten metal, thrumming away with each beat of her heart. Of course she knows that its her mind, her anxiety, playing cruel tricks on her. The necklace itself is harmless but what it symbolizes, that is the real harm. If her daddy could see her now, sitting on a large piece of driftwood with strangers turned friends all whilest discreetly holding hands with the girl she absolutely has the biggest crush on behind them hidden by the log and the darkness, Shelby thinks he’d drop dead right where he stood. The thought almost brings a small smile to her face but she thinks better of it because that way of thinking is surely fucked and even if she knows his way of seeing the world is messed up, he is still her father. 

Toni and Shelby are huddled together along with the rest of the crew as theyve come to call themselves, enjoying the small fire Dot was able to throw together while they were up on the bluff. Now, the moon has begun its rise up above the ocean shore and the galaxy of stars are all blinking alight in the sky over head and if it werent for them being you know, on a stranded island alone and close to death the sight would actually be beautiful to look at. Toni rubs her thumb along Shelbys fingers in a soothing back and forth motion and it tethers them for the moment, both girls are here, alive, and free and that is enough.

After Toni had asked Shelby if she wanted to tell the girls she had described to Toni her fears and her doubts. Shelby of course knew that the girls wouldnt have any issue with them being together it was more that Shelby was afraid to see their reactions. She had made claims towards Toni that had basically identified her as a homophobic christain girl who now suddenly has switched up her game and is now playing tongue hockey with that same girl who they all saw were at each others throats from day one. Shelby begins to think about all theyve been through in the short amount of time and starts to get dizzy from it all and having 6 other girls weigh in on that just didnt seem like something she could stomach, for now at least. Toni of course takes this in stride and reassures her in that calm way of hers that Shelby is still trying to get used to. Shelby in this moment is thankful for Toni and how goddamn good shes being to her. She tries not to think about how she doesnt deserve Toni because it would just lead her down a spiraling path that she would rather not go down because she is actually trying to enjoy her time here and now. Those problems are for future Shelby to worry about while current Shelby is holding hands with the girl she likes while her friends all have begun their nightly routines talking quietly amongst themselves around her in their own separate worlds into the night.

Speaking of, Toni and Martha are engaged in a rather loud, very heated debate about what Marcus would do as a day job if he was a real person at the point Shelby starts to come out of her thoughts.

“Marti, the dude is ripped he’d totally do something sporty. Hes like lean ripped though, so maybe swimming or gymnastics, i dont know something along those lines. I get that vibe from him at least” Toni as she says this starts to unknowingly raise her voice as the debate continues and the wild look in her eyes as shes trying to make a case for herself over this mannequin half body makes Shelby crack a smile. She shakes her head a little at the girl next to her, always getting so heated about the strangest things. Its one of Tonis endearing quality’s, Shelby thinks, its what drew her in to begin with. 

“Toni, no, hes totally a pilot or maybe even a writer who just so happens to like working out. Hes got a soft, romantic heart and i mean i would know we connected.” Martha says exasperated, throwing her hands up around her and gesturing towards Marcus himself who leans up against another piece of driftwood where Leah and Fatin are.

Toni laughs at Martha for a moment before saying through her laughs “what, you connected with him when you were high off your ass?”

Martha gives Toni a look then and rolls her eyes at her “yeah maybe i did, isnt being high supposed to like...i dont know unlock your senses or something? Why would they steer me wrong?”

Leah has been watching this debate go on for a while and while it is quite entertaining its getting late and she’d like to get some sleep at some point so she decides then and there that its time to break this up “Guys, as fun as this is, Marcus is unfortunately a hunk of plastic and unless he grows legs, arms, and a head overnight hes not exactly going anywhere. Should we maybe...”

“Ok buzzkill we were just having some fun” Toni cuts Leah off in a grumble. Shelby rocks a little into Toni which gets her to look at her. Shelby gives her a look thats basically reads as “be nice” and Toni huffs out a breath discreetly as discreet is for Toni and looks back at Leah who is chewing away at her lip looking down and away from everyone.

“Sorry Leah...i um...i didnt mean to snap at you we were just having some fun that maybe did get a little out of hand and a little loud.” Toni runs the back of her neck with her hand that isnt occupied by Shelbys and sends Leah the most “im sorry forgive me” face you’ve ever seen and it almost looks painful to Shelby who sees its from the side. Toni doesnt exactly “do” apologies but shes trying and thats enough.

Toni apologizing to Leah perks the ears of not only Martha but the rest of the girls around them and now each girl is dialed in on Toni and Leahs exchange as if its primetime 8 o’clock news.

“Well holy shit” Dot says outta nowhere “she does have a nice bone in her body”

“Oh fuck off” Toni gives Dot a glare, as her face heats up a bit in embarrassment.

“And shes back folks.” Dot says with a chuckle and begins to set herself up in a more comfortable position for sleep against the piece of wood.

Leah gives Toni a once over, and sends her a smile and a nod in thanks and doesnt say anything else to her as she turns away from her, Shelby, and Martha. She situates herself on her right side and leans her head up against the wood, using it as a pillow of sorts.

Fatin who has been uncharacteristicly quiet through this entire thing is now staring directly at Shelby that its almost unnerving. Shelby gives her a weird look and raises her brow in question. Fatin flicks her eyes between her and Toni, where their hands are hidden behind the log, and then smirks and raises her brows in a very sexual manner. The heat that suddenly engulfs Shelby then is almost deadly and she immediately drops Tonis hand, somewhat in fear that the heat engulfing her would somehow burn Toni and somewhat because she’s embarrassed they even got caught in the first place. Fucking Fatin and her “i can sense sexual tension” ways. Fatin watches as Shelbys hand that was holding Tonis comes up to rest with her unoccupied one in her lap and she frowns. That wasn’t exactly the reaction she wanted from Shelby and she feels a little bad. 

Shelby can feel Tonis eyes on her but she doesnt look up, her eyes are glued to both of her hands that now reside in her lap. Toni is confused as to the sudden change in Shelbys demeanor and looks around the group and spots Fatin looking at the both of them. Fatin meets Tonis gaze still frowning as she mouths a silent “im sorry” to her and Toni finally understands. They were caught and by Fatin of all people. 

Toni isnt exactly sure to feel. On one hand she can feel the rumblings of an emotion she knows all to well, anger begins to bloom in her chest, making her whole body feel heated. While on the other hand, shes worried. Worried for Shelby, worried that this all went way too fast for her, worried this could send a wrench into their entire relationship, this night is suddenly hell. Old Toni wouldve blown up, would’ve screamed her lungs out at Fatin for making her girlfriend second guess herself but this Toni, here in this moment, doesnt. The current Toni knows Fatin didnt mean any harm, knows that Fatin would never judge them. So this Toni, well she takes a breath and calms herself, catches Fatins eye and mouths back “Itll be ok” then takes another breath before scooting as close as she can to Shelby. 

Toni leans her head down towards Shelbys ear and whispers to her “Shelb...its only Fatin. I know its easier said than done but please don’t worry. She won’t tell anyone, especially if you arent ready. Ive got you.” 

Shelby responds by leaning into Toni and bumping the side of her head against Tonis forehead. Toni presses the lightest of kisses to Shelbys ear before she pulls away which to anyone else just looked like a platonic gesture between two friends who just happen to be girls. Yup. Once Toni pulls away Shelby looks over at her and Toni gives her a cute little wink as she settles down for the night. They both know they can’t exactly sleep all cuddled up with each other but that doesnt stop them from trying to get as close as possible while still keeping a respectful amount of distance between their bodies. At this point Toni and Sheby are the only girls who are still awake besides Rachel who is off a little ways from the group sitting by herself staring out at the ocean. She looks almost like a statue sitting as still as she is if it werent for the slow rise and fall of her chest giving her away that she is alive and human. 

The sound of human breathing and light snores begin to fill the surrounding area while Toni and Shelby lay awake besides each other. The dying fire they need to stoke as well as waves crashing against the shore also fill in the background. A pen scratching across paper reaches their ears every so often which they both guess is Nora who always fills out her journal with plenty of daily notes every night before she sleeps. That girl is nothing but meticulous, its almost scary.

Shleby yawns silently besides Toni and rubs at her face, clearly showing signs shes about to fall asleep any moment now. Toni watches her for a moment and smiles a slow dopey smile in Shelbys direction, god shes fucking cute. 

“You dont have to stay up with me, ya know. Im just waiting a little bit longer to stoke the fire and ill be out, go ahead and sleep.” Toni says in a hushed tone to Shelby after she yawns a second time, this time longer and more drawn out than the first. 

Shelby shakes her head and leans her head back on the driftwood, her body now resting atop some shreds of clothes as makeshift blankets so they don’t have to sleep directly on the sand. “I like spending time with you, if you can believe it. So if you’re awake im awake.”

Toni rolls her eyes at Shelby but doesn’t protest further “Fine but don’t be upset with me tomorrow when you are dead tired and all useless.” 

Shelby just sticks her tongue out playfully at Toni and then with a laugh says “If i am you can just carry me to all the places we end up needing to go to tomorrow. I’ve already decided.” 

“Ok little miss princess you may have decided that but no where did i say i would fucking do that. What if i dont want to?” Toni says back with a raised brow.

Shelby scoots closer to Toni and slowly looks around the group checking that each girl is asleep or too far to see what shes about to do next. Seeing shes in the clear, she reaches around Tonis head and twirls a bit of Tonis ponytail around her finger. She then meets Tonis gaze and looks at her up through her eyelashes. 

“You wouldnt do that for me?” Shelby finishes with a pout, a cherry on top to her advance on Toni. 

Toni, pupils blown, huffs out a breath in mild annoyance at the girl beside her. When did she become so whipped, especially for a blonde preppy girly girl like Shelby. Shes fucked. 

“You, Shelby Goodkind, are fucking evil. Goddamn devil worshipper, all that religion crap was total bullshit.” Toni says jokingly and Shleby just laughs and laughs. Toni thinks Shlebys laugh is the cutest shit shes ever heard. “To answer your question though, id carry you anywhere” Toni cringes a bit after she says that, when the hell did she become such a sap.

Shelby looks at her with her eyes gleaming and this adorable smile on her face “and here i was thinking i got myself hooked around another jock when actually shes just a big ole cheese ball”

Toni looks at her in annoyance “oh fuck you, wow yes i have feelings, im not cheesy i dont do that shit.” Toni says with a huff, crossing her arms for good measure. 

Shelby just smiles at her bigger and snuggles up to her, leaning her head on her shoulder. “Who knew Toni Shalifoe was such a sappy romantic.” 

“Ok whoa were did you get romantic from all i said was that id carry you places thats it.” Toni huffs out, still annoyed at this whole situation she got herself in.

“Toni you arent fooling anyone, especially not me. Its ok to admit you’re a softie at heart, its one of the things ive really come to like about you, that you care so deeply. Its sexy” Sheby whispers the last part in Tonis ear which sends a shiver down Tonis spine and suddenly shes not annoyed anymore.

“You cant just say things like that when we arent alone. Jesus. You’re gonna kill me.” Toni whispers back, swallowing hard. Taking a moment to breathe, Toni says “im gonna take care of the fire so we can sleep, ill be back in a sec.”

Dot had thought it best to keep their supply of firewood tucked away in a pile right at the edge of the forest far enough away from the ocean so they didnt have a repeat of the disaster of the tide washing their home base away so thats where Toni headed as Shelby watched. If Shelby checked Toni out while she walked away well that was for her to know and no one else (she totally did).

“You guys are adorable” 

The sudden sound of Martha speaking made Shelby jump a few inches off the ground.

“Holy shit Martha, you scared the crap outta me” Shelby said, anxiety beginning to already take ahold of her. Fuck she knows, oh god she knows. She saw.

“I’ve never seen Toni that happy, not even with her ex. Please dont hurt her Shelby, this isn’t a game to her. I um... I remember the day she came out to me. She was terrified, Toni of all people, you wouldn’t think she’d be able to get that scared but there she was tears and everything pouring her deepest secret out to me. She thought she was gonna lose me, her best friend. Thats what terrfied her most, not that she was gay or anything but the fact that id drop her for liking girls. People who think like that are so... god they make me so mad. I couldnt imagine not having Toni in my life and the fact that some people could just throw someone out of their lives for loving someone and living their truth is infuriating. So i hugged her and i let her cry on me, told her i loved her. We’ve always been inseparable but that day, our bond only grew stronger. Anyways, i told you that Shelby because well i think you needed it. I want to make sure my sister is taken care of, that shes safe. Can i trust you with that?” Martha finishes in the most serious tone Shelby has ever heard from the girl the entire time theyve been on the island. 

All Shleby can do is nod for a moment, the right words lost on her for the time being. Shelby sighs then, rubs her face for a second, thinking of what to say. She looks at Martha and meets her gaze. “I wont lie Martha, this isn’t exactly going to be easy for me. I mean, you all saw my little outburst, every girl here still thinks im a raging homophobic asshole. Now im- i- well Toni and I...we...fucking shit we kissed and i liked it. And that terrifies me. It goes against everything I’ve been taught since day one. Toni said something to me the other day about being free, how on this island i dont have to answer to anybody because its just us girls and well i kinda just- snapped. And Toni, god love her, has been nothing but calm and kind to me this entire time and i get to thinking that this is all not fair to her that im gonna ruin it, that im-“ 

“You arent gonna ruin anything.” Martha cuts Shelby off “Toni can actually be really patient when she wants to be, trust me I’ve seen it. It doesnt happen often, but she has her moments. From what you told me and what I accidentally heard, sorry about that by the way, Toni cares about you. And hey if you’re worried about the girls, I wouldn’t be, they’ll forgive you. I already have. Sexuality isnt exactly easy.”

“I- i dont even know what to say Martha. I just...thank you. For not judging me, for being a good person, for being you.” Shelby says as a tear streaks down her cheek. 

“Yeah well, what are friends for.” Martha says with a smile followed by a yawn “Goodnight Shelby, for real this time” Martha finishes with a little laugh as she cuddles back up to her frog hoodie, using it as a pillow. 

Toni returns a little bit after Martha goes to sleep. She finds Shelby sitting awake still, twirling the cross necklace in between her fingers lost in thought. Toni drops the stack of sticks she brought back down near Shelby, knocking her out of her thoughts.

“Hey, are you alright? You seem a bit lost in thought” Toni finally says to Shelby as she throws a couple of sticks onto the fire, the flame growing ever so brighter into the twilight. 

“Yeah, yeah was just thinking. Missed you.” Shelby says with a half smile.

Maybe she is ready to tell the girls. Maybe it wont be so bad after all. For now though, as Toni sits back down beside her and leans her head against hers, smelling of sweat and the smoke of the fire shes content to just have Toni to herself for a little while longer. Perhaps their relationship will come up organically, maybe it wont and theyll sit them all down and tell them together, regardless Shelby thinks shes in a better place and mindset to let them in. To have their opinions on her and Toni shared, Martha certainly eased some of her anxiety and shes greatful. 

Shleby bumps her cheek into Tonis head to get her attention and after Toni looks up at her with a sleepy grin she kisses her, bathed in firelight, the moon shining down on them overhead. Toni doesnt think shes ever been kissed this softly, this sweetly, ever in her life. One of Shelbys hands comes up to cradle Tonis cheek while the other plays with the hem of Tonis basketball team tanktop. Toni shifts her body around for a better position and tilts her head that much more to kiss Shelby back the way she deserves to be kissed. The tip of Tonis tongue has been politely bumping every so often into Shelbys bottom lip and when Shelby finally tilts her head to let Toni in and their tongues meet, Shelby thinks this is what love is supposed to feel like. 

Love. That is a frightening, exhilarating thought. 

Toni lets out the softest, attractive sound as their tongues brush and slide together. It takes everything in Shelby to pull away, to breathe being the number one factor, the second being that if they didnt stop theyd be in a dangerous spot of horny surrounded by their sleeping friends. Toni heaves out a breath as their foreheads collide together, both looking at each other with such awe and something else their both too scared and not ready to admit to the other just yet. Shelby rubs her nose sweetly against Tonis as she breathes just as heavy, pupils blown. 

“Toni, i need you to hear this.” Shelby starts, her voice coming out hushed and ragged from lack of air “i like you. Alot.” Shelby grabs ahold of Tonis hand and brings it to her chest “my heart is going a million miles a minute, do you feel it?” Toni nods, watching Shelby maneuver her hand so she feels her heartbeat. Toni thinks her own heart is beating just as fast. “You, make me feel alive in ways i never thought id be able to feel. I just want you to know that- this is is real for me.” 

There on the shorefront, surrounded by their sleeping friends, Toni thinks she wouldnt want her life any other way, regardless of the fuckin island. The worst has happened to them, and yet shes found something good here with Shelby. When all the dust settles the world could be on fire around her, but if Shelby was by her side she thinks she’d be able to handle it. How fucking gay of her. But who gives a fuck shes happy and for now that is enough. 


	3. Falling for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dont kill me for this one or the title its a dark pun and youll see why after you read. Had to break this one up into 2 parts it was getting crazy fuckin long. Anyways hope you enjoy some angst and fluff

The most unlikely of pairs sometimes brings out the best in us. Opposites attract and all that. Toni thinks that sentiment is true when it comes to her and Shelby. At odds since day one, yet the pull had always been there, lingering under all of the bottled up trauma and emotions. Toni begins to think about the rest of the island and how each one of them have such distinct personalities that in other circumstances, wouldnt gel well together. When you depend on one another for survival, everything else kind of takes a backseat and you have to start getting along. Toni is sure that is why both Dot and Leah who are walking ahead of her and Shelby a ways away deep in a conversation, have formed the bond that they have. Well Toni isn’t actually sure, they both seemed to be the loner types from what they had both shared about their personal lives so who knows, maybe Toni isnt the best at judging people’s personalities. Hell, she was wrong about Shelby.

Shelby.

The blonde walks in stride next to Toni, to her left. Theyre walking so close to each other, their shoulders brush as their fingers collide every so often. Each time they hit little shocks of electric jolts go all the way up Tonis arm and down her body to rest in the bottom of her belly giving her butterflies. The simplicity of the touch and what its doing to Toni is throwing her for a loop. Shes never felt this way about anyone and its scaring her a bit. Its also exhilarating. Toni decides for the moment to lean on the exhilarating part, lets herself bask in the feeling, enjoying her time next to the girl she likes. Alot.

The 4 of them had been tasked with water duty for the day. They were all carrying different types of containers they had makeshifted out of the diet coke cans and the metal bottles they were thankfully able to find after a few days on the island when those retreat slingbags showed up. “Swagbags” Fatin had called them. Dot was carrying the majority of the bottles on her back inside the slingbag she had designated as hers. She wanted to have them close to her so she knew where they were and the count at all times which of course was fine with Toni, Shelby, and Leah. The cans were held by the other three as to keep them from being crushed from the weight of the metal bottles, aluminum is sturdy sure but its all they had so they took extra precautions.

Shelby looks to be in really good spirits today to Toni. Some sun had been peaking through the tops of the trees as they had all been walking and this particular stretch of path has enough sun to reach their faces and bodys. Shelby, even with her sun baked skin as cracked and covered in dirt as it is, still upturns her face with a smile to it and lets it flow over her. She closes her eyes for a moment as they walk, feeling everything and nothing at once. Toni thinks she looks the most alive shes ever been since they crashed.

“Youre beautiful” Toni says in a hushed tone, mindful of the girls in front of them.

Shelby stumbles over her feet at Toni breaking the quiet and with a laugh Toni catches her and rights her back up on her feet.

Tuckin a piece of her mangled hair behind her ear, red not just from the sun on her cheeks Shelby babbles back bashfully “You are such a sweet talker you know that? Thank you.”

Toni smiles at the girl in front of her and gives her a wink “I’ve always had game Shelbs” Toni then brings a hand up to Shelbys cheek and moves some more hair that had fallen out of place when she tripped literally over Tonis words. Shelby leans into Tonis hand for a moment closing her eyes and loving the feeling of Tonis hand on her. Opening her eyes she smiles at the concentration suddenly covering Tonis face as she tries to get her unruly hair back into place. Toni has the tip of her tongue poking out of the side of her mouth, her brow furrowed. Shelby thinks she’s adorable. At this point the two girls have stopped walking, so wrapped up in their own little world theyve made for each other they dont notice Dot and Leah who have stopped ahead of them not hearing their footsteps, gawking at them.

Dot leans a bit into Leah and whispers “Did you...uh...know about this...”development””

Leah shakes her head and speaks out of the side of her mouth “this is news to me...”

“Well” Dot says with a quiet laugh “this would explain the other night when Toni switched up her act on you. Im not one to get into other peoples business but man the other girls are gonna go crazy over this.”

Leah nods in agreement, very much amused at the two and how wrapped up in each other they are. She then frowns, a wave of melancholic emotion rushes over her. “Hope they know what they’re doing though, feelings like that” she gestures towards Toni and Shelby “can break you down until your nothing but a shell of who you once were. Love is nothing but misery and pain. It spreads like a wildfire until theres nothing left but ashes and dust.”

Dot looks at Leah then. Gives her this worried expression while her mouth slightly parts. Dot is speechless for a moment and lets the suddenly awkward silence envelop them before huffing out a breath “Jesus christ Leah thats a super cynical thought. Not all love is like that, even i know that and i dont have a huge amount of experience but i mea-“

Leah cuts her off adruptly “Yeah well, its all i know.” Leah then turns away from the girls and Dot and starts off again on the path to the river.

“Thanks for trying to uplift me, Dot, youre the best” Dot says in a pretty decent Leah impression to herself as she too turns and begins to follow Leah.

“Oh you are so welcome Leah, you’ll find somebody im sure of it.” Dot says back to herself now in her own voice.

At this point, Toni had finally gotten Shelbys hair to stay in place and Shelby gives her a little peck on the cheek as thanks. Toni grins in return, a light dusting of pink filling her cheeks. The bubble they had been in now burst seeing as Toni had gotten everything to lay properly on Shelbys head. She and Shelby soon begin to realize theyve fallen behind when they can no longer see Dot or Leah ahead of them so they both decide in a spur of the moment whim to walk-run to catch back up with the girls. They both laugh and poke fun at each other at the way they’re both moving their arms in “older woman speed walking on the side of the street” fashion. Toni sticks her tongue out at Shelby and says an “I’ll race ya” to Shelby and suddenly takes off. Shelby isnt exactly an athlete per say but she can hold her own in a friendly competition so she takes off after Toni, smiling all the while feeling so free and alive for the first time in the longest while.

It doesnt take them long for them to all reach the waterfall, Toni of course beating Shelby only by a little but a win is a win to Toni so all the same. Seeing Dot and Leah already at work refilling the cans and bottles they too begin to get to work on filling their respective cans in relative amicable silence as they begin to calm from their impromptu race.

Toni and Shelby make eyes at each other across the water for a moment before Toni crosses her eyes and sticks her tongue out at Shelby. Shelbys laughter fills in the empty spots of sound over the rushing waterfall. Its peaceful there in that moment, tranquil in a way Toni wants to scoop up and save in her memory box back home so she can go back to this when shes having one of explosive days. Toni makes sure to take a mental snapshot of the girl in front of her, her head is thrown back in a laugh she made happen, pride swells Tonis chest along with something else she wont name for now. Her unruly blonde hair is all out of place again, Toni thinks she looks beautiful like that anways. When Shelby looks back at Toni, her eyes reopening from her laughter, she smiles that pretty smile of hers with her blue eyes bright as ever.

Once again, Toni and Shelby are in there own little world, the cans half forgotten and the company they also share also forgotten. Dot and Leah have been watching them every so often smirking at each other when they glance at one another but dont say anything. All the years Dot has known Shelby without really “knowing” her, Dots still never seen Shelby as happy as she is in this moment. Of course shes only seen Shelby in passing a few times growing up, but the town is small and Shelby Goodkind is hard to miss. Dot thinks, no she knows, this right here, this is what Shelby deserves, not some scumbag cheating boyfriend like Andrew. If it does turn out that the two girls are suddenly a couple like Dot thinks they might be, well shes nothing but happy for them. Tonis mellowed out, Shelbys happy and stopped her drinking bender, seems like a match made in heaven to Dot. She makes up her mind in that moment that she’ll let them come to her with the news about their budding romance if they decide to tell her. If not, thats alright with her too.

Leah is also happy for the two if not a bit envious of the clear feelings each of them share for each other. Its written all over Tonis face how much she cares for Shelby in her smile, her eyes and browline shift in this way they only do when shes looking at Shelby. Shelbys face is also a dead giveaway, her megawatt smile is the biggest Leahs ever seen since theyve been on the island and that saying something because Shelby has such a bubbly personality anyways she seemed to have a permanent smile or grin on her face. Leah wants to feel that same happiness and love for someone. She grimaces to herself when Jeff flashes in her mind for a moment and she quickly pushes him and those thoughts away. All of that was a lie, he was a lie. Yeah, she knows she lied and fucked up, but he manipulated her. Leah comes to the conclusion then, that shes broken. That shes unfixable. Her mind, her heart, are both shells of what they once were. Shelby a few days prior, during the night, even told her thats what everyones afraid of. Of not being loved. Leah thinks shes a trainwreck that doesnt deserve to pull anyone else down with her. Shes spiraling and she knows it. Her mind on this island has not stopped fucking running, its draining her. The bottle shes filling begins to overfill and spill from the top so she sets it down beside her along with the other cans shes already done. She then digs her hand into the bank of the water, grabbing up a pile of dirt and mud sludge, trying to ground herself. She takes a few slow breaths to calm herself further. It works for a moment and she slowly stops white knuckling the ground beneath her and leans back on her heels. She feels a drip and then another drip shortly after on her thigh. She hadn’t realized she had begun to cry.

Looking around wildly at the other girls to make sure that hadnt seen, she quickly wipes her face clearing them of tears while simultaneously covering it in river sluge accidentally.

“Goddamn it” Leah says audibly which catches the other threes attention. Shelby and Dot look at her with amused concern and Toni chuckles at her.

“Leah, you look like a dirty football player. All you’re missing is the helemet and pads.” Toni says with a grin. Toni hands off the bottles shes done with to Shelby who takes them with a raised brow. She then makes her way to Leah and sits next to her.

“May i?” Toni gestures to Leahs face. Leah nods slowly with a look of confusion, both brows scrunched together.

Toni rubs the mud around on Leahs face for a moment and pulls back to admire her handy work. She then gestures to the pool of water so Leah can look at her reflection.

Leah leans her body towards the bank and when she catches her own eyes looking back at her she laughs. Toni had made two huge horizontal blocks under Leahs eyes and added little lines to the blocks to add some accent to them. Toni had also wrote a haphazardly drawn 3 on Leahs right cheek. She really did look like she was ready for war, or as Toni put it, a varsity sport competition.

“Whats the 3 for Toni?” Leah says, still inspecting her face in the water below her.

“Uh, only the best number to ever fucking exist. Its well....it was my number when i was on my team. I was captain and all so thought it was only fitting you’d rep one of the greats” Toni finishes, pointing both thumbs at herself a big smirk on her face.

Leah shakes her head with a laugh and dips her hands into the water and begins to clean her face off, the 3 the first to go “Well, we didnt exactly have sports at my school but i know for a fact that if we did i wouldnt be repping your ass” Leah says, jokingly.

Tonis mouth drops open with a scoff while Shelby and Dot laugh at the both of them.

“Aw Toni” Shelby says, now approaching the two bottles and cans in hand “if Leah doesnt want to wear your number- i will” A shy smile graces Shelbys lips then and Tonis head snaps to look at her.

“You would?” Toni says, surprised at Shelbys response. If her face goes a little red too, no one mentions it

“Well yeah, duh. Shalifoe on my back, the captain no less, i’d have the whole school talking. Gotta climb those social ladders and all.”

Toni grumbles and gives Shelby a look “oh so you’d only use me for popularity, wouldnt think you’d need help with that princess.”

“Nope, but every bit helps.” Shelby sticks her tongue out at Toni and the girls both laugh at the conversation. Toni does file away the thought and image of Shelby in just Tonis jersey for later. They can discuss that in private later.

Dot at this point has also joined the trio now, water refill completed.

“So you crazy bitches ready to head back to base?” Dot says as she looks over all of their bottles, mentally counting them all making sure none have gotten missplaced in The short time they were refilling.

Leah gives a mock salute and climbs to her feet, towering over the 3 others as she gets to her full height again. “All good to go here, did you guys finish filling up your bottles” she gestures to both Shelby and Toni “you guys were goofing off a ton over there.”

“I can assure you, Leah” Shelby says as she puts an arm around Tonis shoulders “i kept this one in line. We had a job and we stuck to it aint that right, Toni?”

Toni doesnt respond and just rolls her eyes at the whole situation.

“And shes clearly happy about it.” Shelby continues with a laugh. “Alright folks lets head back, im sure the rest of the girls are all thristy and waitin’ up for us” Shelby moves her arm off Tonis shoulders and claps her hands together as she begins to lead the group back. Toni shuffles ahead of them all and tries to lead instead, thinking she knows the way.

“Toni...” Shelby says after a moment of her walking off by herself in the completely wrong direction “camps that way” Shelby points a finger with a chuckle.

Toni rolls her eyes again and stomps off in the correct way, her hands clenched into fists. Shes clearly annoyed and Shelby thinks that even though she looks like a petulant child right now, shes still adorable.

The girls still let Toni lead the way back and the further they walk the more Toni seems to lose her spout of annoyance that clearly just sprouted from nothing serious like most things she gets angry and mad about.

Shelby is walking back with Dot and Leah and they all seem to be in a conversation about what its like in Texas and giving Leah certain introspections into their lives. Thats mainly what Toni can get from it all before shes suddnely looking up at the sky, the ground no longer beneath her.

Then theres white hot pain. She sort of hears a scream and a “Holy fuck Toni” coming from somewhere behind her and above her she isnt sure. Her eyelids feel like they suddenly weigh a thousand pounds, but she tries to keep them open, shes no quitter. Toni later will be pissed as fuck at herself that she didnt look where she was going because she was looking back at Shelby. Toni thinks if thats the last thing she see, Shelbys smiling and engaged in coversation with her friends, she thinks itll be worth it.

Shelby.

Shelbys bright blue eyes are suddenly invading Tonis vision and she thinks shes reached heaven. Weird she thought forsure she’d be in hell. But no, here she is the blondes eyes looking into hers. Then her face comes into focus and shes frantically looking at someone who Toni cant see.

Shelbys hands take Tonis head in her hands gingerly. She brushes some hair out of Tonis eyes. Shelbys hands come away red and wet. Blood has begun to pool on Tonis forehead and down into Tonis eyes.

“Toni, baby, i need you to keep your eyes open for me. Dont you dare close them on me, you got ta stay awake.” Shelby says through her sobs, her voice shaky. Shes trying to keep it together as Dot and Leah try to figure out the safest way to bring Tonis limp body back up on the path.

Thankfully, Toni hadnt fallen all that far, it was about a 5 maybe 10 foot drop off from the path they were on to where Toni lay and if it werent for Tonis head banging into an outcropped rock, she most likely would have been fine.

Shelbys heart is beating out of her chest, shes so fucking scared for Toni in this moment. She knew freaking the fuck out was no help to anyone so she bit the inside of her cheek hard, steeled herself and got to work. She rips her top off in one smooth motion and begins to tear the yellow knitted fabric into a double layered piece so it can soak up more blood. She gently places it on and around Tonis head with shaking hands. She then cleans the blood out of Tonis eyes the best she can and when she doesnt see Toni looking back at her she loses it for a moment. Shelby grabs Tonis face in her hands again and taps her cheeks.

“Toni, baby please. Open those pretty eyes of yours, stay awake for me. Dottie and Leah are gonna have your outta here lickity split. I promise. You just gotta open those eyes babe.” Shelby cries out to Toni, her thumbs rubbing back and forth on the girls cheeks. 

Tonis eyes begin to flutter after a moment and with all the strength she has left to muster she bleary opens her eyes, her vision unfocused but her eyes are open and thats a start. Shelby feels like shes finally able to breathe again for a moment when she looks back into Tonis unfocused eyes.

“Fu-ck youre prett-y” Toni croaks out, clearly not in her right mind at the moment.

Shelby smiles a sad smile and gives a teary laugh at Toni “Always the charmer” Shelby kisses Tonis cheek slowly and then the other right after.

“Here Shelby, hand her up to us, we cleared a spot so Toni doesnt hit any more rocks and shit on the way up” Dot says from above, her and Leah looking down at the both of them, hands outstretched ready to help the girls up and out.

“Ok yeah, here each of yall grab ahold of her under her arm pits and ill get her legs and we should be able to get her out, just mind her head.” Shelby directs and the girls immediately get to work.

Dot and Leah heave Tonis upper body up and over the edge of the rocky dirty path, them both working in tandem like a well oiled machine. Leah as Tonis head comes in to view, fixes Shelbys makeshift wrap covering Tonis wound. It had fallen a bit out of place as they moved her and blood was starting to flow back into her eyes and mouth. Leah wipes the blood away once again and meets Tonis gaze. Tonis eyes are unfocused and have started to become blood shot. They need to get her back to camp asap.

“Are her eyes still open?!!? Make sure she keeps em that way, we gotta get her out of here.” Shelby sounds down below with a grunt as she pushed the rest of Tonis legs back up onto the path with Dots help. Leah now being the “make sure Toni keeps her eyes open and is alert” person for the time being. Once Dot makes sure Tonis body is settled up and not going to fall back down again, she reaches out a hand towards Shelby to help her back up. Shelby grasps it tightly and with one huge pull, Shelby is able to grasp onto the ledge herself and pull herself up the rest of the way.

“Guys, how are we gonna get her back to camp?” Leah questions out to the two and they all look at each other for a split second before Shelby pipes up and says “Ill carry her, if we need to we’ll take turns but i should be able to get her back.” Shelby takes a moment then and kneels down to grab Toni in her arms.

The adrenaline pumping with every beat of her fast as lightning heart, surely had something to do with how easily Toni was able to be carried by Shelby. Shelby wouldve killed for Toni to see what she looks like right now, her biceps buldging, carrying her girlfriend in her arms. In other circumstances this might have been considered sexy, but when your significant other is bleeding out in your arms and youre covered in their blood the whole situation just becomes a bit morbid and highly gorey.   


The three girls rush back to camp as quick and as safely as they can. Shelby is careful to not bobble Tonis head as she takes her steps and plots her course carefully ahead of her. The sound of the bottles clanking together in Dots slingback with the occasional water slosh fill the air as their feet pound away on the forest floor. Tonis pained, wheezing breaths from where she lays in Shelbys arms push Shelby to go that much faster. God she cant believe this bullshit, excuse her language. The day was going so well and then suddenly took a 180 in a matter of moments. Shelby hopes Toni will be ok, she cant lose her. Not after all of this. Not after all theyve been through. They survived a plane crash for fucks sake, Toni even survived that deadly food poisoning a bit ago. This silly little fall cant be what does her in. Shelby wont allow it. Not her fucking girlfriend.

The woods finally begins to break and soon there is sand beneath their feet. The trio can make out figures in the distance shortly after as their camp comes into view. Dot and Leah begin yelling for help and the girls all jump at various degrees being scared out of their moment of peace. Fatin and Martha looked to be in the middle of an uno game, Rachel was chilling besides them watching the game and Nora was off to the side scribbling away in her notebook.

“Nora” Dot yells at they reach the camp “i need you to grab the med bag quickly, we need gauze, we need alcohol wipes, everything

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... ill update it soon dont worry also no ones dying or anything sorry? Leave a comment if youd like and you can find me @grogjaws


	4. I’ll patch you up, like you patched up my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelby and the girls tend to Tonis wounds, other feelings arise among the others while Shelby and Toni share some of their own.

Everyone seems to be moving in slow motion. Toni swears she can see movement trails following the girls as they move around her, like shes watching an old vhs tape. Her vision has become increasingly hazy, the trickle of blood that somehow continues to run directly into her left eye isnt helping either. Tonis eyes are half closed and to the other girls who are scrambling around grabbing the materials Dot is shouting out they need, Toni looks just as she did in the beginning stages of the shellfish food poisoning. Toni isnt on deaths door like she was back then but her skin has lost some of its color and with her vision going in and out its hard to tell exactly how severe her injury is. Head injuries in normal circumstances are no joke but adding the fact that they are stranded on an island with very limited supplies worries all the girls to varying degrees. 

Dot takes over the situation well, the calmest one out of the 7 of them. Nora and her are able to get the antiseptic wipes and bandages out while Nora gives advisement on how they should go about taking care of Toni. Shelby at this point has placed Toni down, flat on her back, on top of some of the strewn about clothes around their home base. Shelby makes sure to place Toni gently, watching her head carefully as she goes. She then takes one of the cushions they have from the plane and slides it as carefully as she can under the back of Tonis head and neck so she’s elevated to a degree. Martha and Leah join Shelby as she finishes the cushion placement. Honestly Shelby has blocked everyone out at the moment, white crackling noise and the rushing of her heartbeat are all she hears. Her eyes are tunneled, she only sees Toni.

Leah is comforting Martha awkwardly and the best she can as Martha is in hysterics over her friend, her sister, who is once again in bad shape. Martha is trying to ask what happened, her voice cracking through her cries and Leah tries her best to explain as she gathers the smaller girl in her arms, rocking them slowly back and forth in what Leah hopes is a calming motion.

Dot, Nora, and Rachel rush over to where Toni is and Dot politely asks Shelby to move back from Tonis face so they can work. Shelby gives Dot a silent, deadly glare and Dots mouth closes mid sentence.

“Ok Nora, hand Shelby the antiseptic wipes and walk her through how to clean Tonis wound. Rachel, you’re the muscle. Im gonna need your help holding Toni down, this is gonna hurt like a bitch and we cant have her moving around on us. Fatin...” Dot looks around for the girl, yelling her name a second time when she doesnt see her right away. A tap-shove on Dots shoulder makes her turn and there Fatin is, two bottles of clean and warmed water being offered to her.

“Here, i thought these would help. If theres something else i can do i-“ Fatin says as Dot hurriedly takes the bottles from Fatin.

“Just stay close, me and Rachel may need you in a second.” Dot replies, her focus back on Toni already.

Dot unscrews the cap on one of the water bottles and pours some out on her hands, trying to clean them as best she can from weeks of grime and of sand, its almost futile. She offers the other girls the same and they all scrub their hands, freeing a tiny bit of dirt from them hoping that this definition of “clean” is enough to not spread infection to Toni. 

Shelby straddles Toni much like she did when she forced the girl to take that pill weeks back with Nora to her left, Rachel to her right and Dot at the end of Tonis head. Nora begins peeling back the makeshift bandage Shelby had made back out on the path when Toni first fell. The torn shirt material has gone a brownish red with the dried up blood its managed to soak up. Once Tonis wound on her forehead is revealed they all try not to grimace. It looks rough, and thats putting it lightly. The rock her head had smashed into had left a nice gash going through her left eyebrow and above it in a mangled line. The hit being so close to Tonis eye could be a reason her vision isnt as clear, along with the blunt trauma she took to her head. 

Toni during this, can feel rather than see figures all around her. A familiar one on top of her while the others she can feel all around her head like a weird kind of halo. Tonis vision is still unfocused like a broken camera lens and fuck she is so goddamn tired. She can feel the energy slowly drain out of her with every passing second and its beginning to scare her in the back of her mind. The thing at the fore front of her mind, however, is the pain. The pain in her head, its all consuming. Its not like any pain shes ever felt. It jackhammers through her in time with her heartbeat. Toni thinks this is her personal hell. The pain suddenly shoots to 1000 as she feels something cold touch her forehead. Her vision completely blacks out as she screams out in pain. Her body involuntarily lurches forward and then theres weight on top of her holding her down. She pushes against the weight and tries to get away from the unending hell she seems to have found herself in. 

“Toni...” 

Toni barely hears her name, she thinks she imagined it. Then she hears it again, louder this time. She knows that voice. Its Shelby. Shes speaking to her so sweetly, she cant make out much of it but it makes her calm down. Her thrashing arms and body begin to slow and the girls holding her down begin to breathe a sigh of relief. Toni is fucking strong for her size.

Dot had had to enlist in Fatins help holding Toni down by her shoulders as Shelby cleaned the wound. Her and Rachel, as it turned out, werent enough and Rachel had even gotten clocked in the nose by a wild fist of Tonis as she struggled against them. 

Martha was still being held by Leah while this was happening. Martha had cried herself into exhaustion, passed out in the taller girls arms. Leah has a protective arm around the girl as she watches ready to spring into action if shes needed. She catches Fatins eye for a split second and if this wasnt such a dire situation she would’ve allowed herself to think that Fatin looked incredibly alluring in that moment but she pushes those feelings far, far away and squeezes Marthas limp body closer to her.

Shelby winces on top of Toni every time the girl grunts and huffs in pain from her cleaning her wound. Shes thankful that Toni has stopped screaming and thrashing about. The bloodcurdling scream of the girl under her is still stuck in her head and wont be leaving her memory for a long while. Toni seems to have tired herself out and has succumbed to the pain, which Shelby hopes has lessened for the girl in some capacity. She hates seeing Toni like this, it pangs her heart in such a way that she almost crumbles on top of her. The only reason she hasnt is that she is willing herself to get through this for Toni. She loves her, there is no longer any doubt in her entire being about that fact, and she’d really like to tell her when all this is over. So she stays upright, the love she feels for the girl underneath her being the fuel and strength she needs to keep going. 

Thankfully, after the wound is cleared from dirt and blood and hopefully from infection, the girls all take respective looks at it and it doesnt seem as deep as they originally thought. Thats finally some good news, they dont have to administer stitching to Tonis head. None of the girls were even confident they knew how or if they had the supplies to do it correctly so this makes them all feel a little bit better. Shelby has tossed away the now blood covered and dirt stained antiseptic wipes away into the sand beside her as she leans back on Tonis waist, looking her girlfriend over. Tonis breathing had been ragged and stuttered likely from the pain she was feeling but her body had seemed to relax. Shelby watched the girl take long, full breaths in and out at a normal rate which made the corners of Shelbys mouth uptick. Of course she knew Toni wasnt out of the woods just yet, but this was a good sign. Shelby grabbed one of Tonis hands in hers and gave it a long gentle squeeze not caring about the girls around her. The others were focused on getting the bandage and clean wrappings on Tonis head anyways. Shelby is done caring about what they all think, so she doesnt really mind if they see or not. 

After Dot with Nora looking over her shoulder advising her the entire time, finish up with Tonis bandage, Dot falls back into the sand behind her with a huff.

“Well that was fun.” She says after a beat, trying to lighten the mood. The rest of the girls all groan at her.

“God, i feel like i just watched a really bad episode of Greys Anatomy.” Fatin pipes up, now sitting beside Leah. That gets a laugh from some of them and suddenly the campsite doesnt feel so suffocating.

Rachel hasnt said much or even really moved from her spot besides Toni. Her nose is pounding from the hit she took from Tonis wild thrashing but it doesnt faze her. A tiny line of blood begins to trickle out beneath her nose and she thumbs it away. She huffs a breath of air out, a grin gracing her face. Shes impressed with Toni, even under extreme distress she managed to have some power behind her swing. She makes a mental note to tell Toni about it when she wakes up. Rachel then tentatively reaches a hand out to Shelby. Shes not exactly good at offering other people comfort but it doesnt stop her from trying in this moment.

Shelby doesnt notice Rachels hand on her shoulder for a second, shes too preoccupied staring at her and Tonis joined hand. Her thumb is caressing Tonis knuckles so gently its got her in a hypnotic trance.

“Shelby...” Rachel tries, and that finally gets the other girls attention. Shelbys eyes meet Rachels and Rachel gives her this sideways grin. “She’s gonna be ok. I mean, this is Toni ya know, shes resilient. A little knock on the head isnt going to stop her, she’d be pissed at herself if it did.” Rachel ends with a laugh and gives Shelbys shoulder a little jostle. She then gets up from her kneeling position, dusts the sand off her and leaves the two girls so they can finally be alone. 

The other girls had all gotten the vibe that they should probably give Shelby and Toni some space so they all had moved far enough away from them for some privacy while they all were still able to keep a close eye on Toni, just to he safe. Leah had carried Martha, who was still passed out in exhaustion, with her as she moved. Based on the suns movement in the sky, it was beginning to look more like late afternoon, so Leah thought it best to sit herself and Martha near the fire and the rest of the girls followed suit after a few moments. Fatin sat herself down next to Leah, not saying anything but still finding much needed comfort being next to the taller girl. Dot sat on the opposite side of Leah, looking rather exhausted but relieved all the same. Rachel and Nora were the last to join the group and they sat huddled together, so close together they looked to be one person instead of two. The 6 girls sat around the fire looked over each other and all had similar thoughts, they’re a family. While the island brought pain, suffering, endless trauma, it also brought them each other. They were getting through this day by day because of one another and for them that was enough. The bonds they had formed this past few weeks, they all wouldnt change for the world. A slow, long, breath leaves Leah then and a wave of exhaustive calmness washes over her and the group shortly after. Everyone is safe, everyone is breathing, everyone is alive. For now, thats enough to keep them together.

Shelby has moved from straddling Toni in favor of laying next to the girl. Her hand is still holding tightly onto Tonis, whos hand is limp in her grasp. Shelby knows Tonis loose hold is only from exhaustion and not from something more deadly but she still cant help but miss when Tonis hand squeezes hers back. The clammy warmth Tonis hand usually has is gone, and she misses that too. She misses alot of things about Toni in this moment as she watches her breathe. Toni, if she was alert right now, would joke about her being a creep watching her like she is and just thinking about Toni in that way makes a sad smile appear on Shelbys face. Then the tears start to fall. God, she just misses Toni, even though shes right in front of her. She wants her back, her eyes open, that undeniable fire that always seems to burn so hot inside her burning and untamable. 

Shelby brushes the tears away from with her free hand before she settles her chin down ontop of Tonis chest. This way her eyes are in line with Tonis face and she can feel Toni breath beneath her. Every breath Toni takes in and lets out her head bobs slowly up and down with the movement and its keeps her grounded. Shelby then kisses Tonis exposed left shoulder a few times, the black basketball tanktop exposing some of her collarbone in all of the jostling earlier and Shelby kisses that spot too. She then moves her head up a little ways so her mouth is in line with Tonis ear.

“Toni,” Shelby starts to whisper “i know you probably cant hear me, but your safe now. The girls all made sure of that. We-“ Shelby takes a breath “...we all love you. I love you. Please come back to us soon. To me. I need you here.” Shelby finishes, she leaves a peck on Tonis ear as she pulls back. She then rests her head back on Tonis chest and cuddles up underneath her chin minding Tonis head all the while, her body molding against Tonis like it was made for her. Shelby then brings up the arm that is holding onto Tonis hand and places it up on Tonis chest. Shelby squeezes Tonis hand once more and begins to allow herself to finally relax for the first time that day. The last time she felt at peace was when they were all gathering water together at the waterfall. That moment seems years ago now and not hours ago and as Shelby allows herself to relax she then feels the adrenaline leave her and with that comes the overwhelming amount of pure exhaustion. Her eyes flutter, Tonis slow and steady breathing lulling her to sleep.

As the sun begins to set there on the beach that day, each girl begins to succumb to the exhaustion the day has brought and they all allow sleep to come to them at various times. Fatin is the first to go, her head nuzzling into Leahs shoulder, trying to make Leah her makeshift pillow for the night. Leah of course allows the girl and doesnt say a word but rather leans the side of her head down onto Fatins once she’s comfortable on her. Dot moves closer to Leah just a bit so they start to share body heat. Dot then leans back ok the driftwood behind them and lets her eyes close. Leah watches her out of the corner of her eye and her the corners or her mouth uptick with a small smile. Nora and Rachel across from them have also gone to sleep, Nora leaning into Rachel as Rachel has an arm thrown over Nora. Rachel also has her mouth open, her jaw slack and its almost a funny sight to Leah, Rachel almost always seems to have her jaw clenched her mouth a hard line. These past few days though, shes seemed the most relaxed and that makes Leah happy. Leah then carefully moves her head off of Fatins just for a moment to look at Toni and Shelby who are a little ways behind and off to side of the rest of them. Leah watches them and theres a pang in her heart. She hopes they turn out much better than anything she’s experienced. Fatin moves below her then, trying to get closer to Leah and Leah feels a heat settle in her dropping stomach at the movement and the girl beside her. 

Oh.

Leah gulps, her cheeks heating up. She’ll revist these “feelings” at another time. Suddenly a rush of wind blows against her, sending a shiver down her spine. Looks like tonight will be a cold one, which makes Leah turn back towards Shelby and Toni. They arent exactly close to the fire and Toni isnt in the best position to move so without thinking Leah reaches an arm out and jostles Dot shoulder, trying to wake the girl up. 

“Jeez Leah” Dot says with a disgruntles yawn “i was just getting to sleep, what is it?” Dot asks, her eyes half open.

“Someone should take something over to them” Leah gestures to Shelby and Toni “its getting cold and i cant move” Leah looks at Fatin for a much longer moment than would probably be considered platonic but Dot doesnt really notice, still half awake. 

Dot looks to the girls and nods “Good thinking Leah, Tonis sweatshirt should be around here somewhere.” Dot says as she gets up, sand falling off her as she does. Dot rummages around where they keep there clothes in a haphazard pile in one of the suitcases. She finds the navy colored garment and grabs another one of Fatins many shirts with quotes, this particular pastel pink shirt has “blow me” with a swirly font and a dandelion on it. God that shirt is such a Fatin clothing piece it makes Dot grin and shake her head.

Dot slowly treks her way across the sand to the sleeping Toni and Shelby. Being Dot, Dot checks over Toni with glance as she quietly kneels down next to them. She seems to be in better shape to Dot, clearly needed rest now. Dot throws Tonis sweatshirt over Shelby, who is asleep and clinging to Toni. Dot thinks they’re sickeningly cute but she wont dare say that thought out loud. Dot also puts the pastel shirt over Toni and Shelbys legs as a makeshift blanket. She tucks it under their legs so it doesnt blow away with the wind and hopes it keeps the heat in. Tomorrow they’ll attempt to move Toni closer to the fire, but for tonight this should do. With one last look over, Dot leaves the sleeping girls for the night and returns to her spot next to Leah.

“Goodnight” Dot yawns out again to a still awake Leah. Dot sits back and gets comfortable and its out within seconds. Leah, seeing as all of her friends (wow she has friends) are taken care of for the night, allows herself to sleep too.

The following days pass sort of in a blur to the group. Toni mainly rests, unmoving from her new spot closer to the fire. Dot, Leah, Shelby, and Rachel were all able to move the girl carefully and without issue. Martha and Shelby have this unspoken agreement that theyll be the main ones who look after Toni, Martha takes the moments during the day, sitting besides Toni, singing to her every once in a while. Martha also sometimes places Tonis head in her laps and runs her fingers through Tonis hair, just how she likes it. Shelby does similar things, just at night when the other girls are asleep. Shelby always makes sure to kiss Tonis forehead by the bandage before she goes to sleep, its almost routine to her. All the girls though, they all take care of Toni in their own little ways, they each make sure Toni is able to get clean water into her system as well as little bits of fruit here and there when Toni is at her most coherent but still out of it. The wound itself also looks to be healing without infection each time Shelby or Dot check on it which continuously brings the spirits up among the girls.

Day 4 of this routine though, thats a fun day. Its what the girls would call “mid morning” and Martha and Shelby are chatting amicably around Tonis body. Martha had been telling Shelby about this one basketball game where Toni had made this crazy left handed shot after Toni had swore “the bitch on the court tripped her” (Tonis words not Marthas) and had almost gotten thrown out of the game. The way Martha was retelling the event was humorous and had Shelby laughing so hard her stomach hurt. A low groan shakes them out of their laughter and suddenly they’re both on either side of Tonis slowly awakening body. Another groan, louder this time comes out of Tonis mouth, her arm tries to move and Shelby and Martha gently stop her.

“Toni, easy now, take it slowly. You’ve been out for a few days.” Shelby says to her as Martha grabs onto Tonis hand, a quiet gasp that sounds more like a sob leaving her. Marthas missed her friend, her sister. And Shelby, well Shelbys missed her heart.

“Fuck, my head” Toni croaks out, her throat dry and raspy from non use. Her voice is low and gravel like, its the deepest Shelbys ever heard it and she missed the sound.

Toni opens her eyes fully for the first time in 4 days and Shelbys heart stops. There those beautiful eyes are, those deep brown ones shes come to love and they’re staring right back at her. Tonis gaze is focused and clear, no longer filled with that haze theyd been fogged over with since she fell. Martha rushed forward and gathers Toni in her arms and hugs the life out of her. A grunt escapes Toni as shes squeezed by Martha, a laugh following shortly after.

“Marty, i cant breathe” Toni says after a moment and Martha lets up, apologizing quickly.

“Sorry Toni, are you ok? Youve been out for like 4 days, we were all super worried. Me and Shelby have been looking after you, i mean all of the girls have but you know what i mean. You scared the heck outta me and i-“

“Take a breath Marty” Toni jokes out as she tries to sit up. Martha closes her mouth and sighs shaking her head. Classic Toni. Martha and Shelby then assist Toni in sitting up.

“She is right though” Shelby says “y’all gave us a mighty scare. You were bleeding so much and it was just- god” Shelby sniffs, her emotions getting to her.

A hand comes up to Shelbys cheek, a hand that is clammy and rough in places that Shelby knows all too well at this point. Its Tonis hand, and her thumb is rubbing away Shelbys silent tears.

“Im here, im right here” Toni says lowly “ im never leaving you guys.” she says to both of them. Toni brings in the girls with the little strength she does have into side hugs and they all hug each other in a heap there on the sand.

Toni starts to cough then and both Martha and Shelby pull back, looking worried.

“S’fine” Toni huffs out “throats just dry.” Toni rubs a little at her throat in hopes it’ll help, but it doesnt exactly do much.

Martha gets up from her knees and says as she goes “I’ll go get you something to drink, Shelby can watch you for a bit” she sends Shelby a knowing glance and the heat that comes to Shelbys cheeks should be embarrassing, but it isnt. Martha walks away from them, a hidden smirk on her face. She figured that Shelby and Toni deserved some much needed alone time and she wasnt going to get in the way of that.

After Martha leaves, the two girls fall into a comfortable silence. Toni keeps trying to mess with the bandage covering the left side of her head and every time Shelby bats her hand away. The third time Toni tries to mess with it, Shelby knows shes trying to mess with her so instead of batting Tonis hand away, she grabs her wrist. 

This makes Toni stop, now staring wide eyed at Shelby, who moves her hand slowly down from Tonis wrist to her hand. Shelby splays their hands out wide, fully connecting each finger tip to Tonis own. Shelby then takes a beat to stare at their hands, palm to palm, before she moves her fingers to thread with Tonis. For the first time in 4 days, Toni is able to respond. Her own hand grasps Shelbys back, a strong squeeze full of emotion and words unsaid.

Shelbys thumb rubs Tonis index finger for a moment before breaking their silence “You scared the shit out of me, you know that.” Shelby stares into Tonis eyes, eyes flitting between both of Tonis quickly. “Thats the second time now on this island I’ve had to save you, don’t let there be a third” Shelby finishes with a dark laugh. Toni also laughs but its stunted, filled mostly with a cough.

Shelby rubs Tonis back with her free hand in soothing circular motions to help and Toni relaxes back into Shelbys hold on her. Toni clears her throat a few times then swallows roughly.

“I would think this definitely puts you in gods good graces or whatever you religious people believe. Tons of good karma’s coming your way Shelbs, honestly you should thank me for almost dying. Twice.” Tonis voice is raw and rough, yet here she still is back to her sarcastic asshole ways. Shelby wouldnt have it any other way, she of course won’t tell Toni that though.

Shelby rolls her eyes so hard at Toni its almost painful. “You are infuriating, you know that.”

“Oh please, you like it” Toni says with a grin and Shelby just shakes her head, a smile on her face. 

“You’re right i do, and how silly of me. Maybe i should re think some things-“ Shelby trails off, pretending shes in deep thought. 

“Hey” Toni says with a gasp and Shelby cant help but break and laugh at Toni whos now trying to pout. 

After Shelbys laughter dies down, their eyes meet and its like they’re back at the lychee tree all those long days ago. 

“God i- i missed you Toni.” Shelby says quietly, a hand coming up to hold Tonis cheek. Toni leans into the hand for a moment before turning and kissing Shelbys palm. 

Toni lets go of Shelbys hand so she can bring both of hands up to cradle Shelbys own face between her hands. “Im ok baby, you made sure of that. Thank you for saving my life. I mean that.” Toni kisses the tip of Shelbys nose then and pulls back to look at the girl in front of her. 

Shelby smiles at Toni, almost shy and Toni returns with her own beaming grin. 

“Now come here so i can kiss you” Toni says already pulling Shelby towards her. Their lips meet for the first time in days and its like something clicks back into place. Shelby knows this is where she belongs, where she wants to be and she just has to tell Toni now before the courage escapes her. 

Shelby pulls back and Toni groans, trying to chase Shelbys mouth with her own but is met with Shelbys finger on her lips, stopping her. Toni raises a brow at Shelby the same time as she babbles out an “iloveyoutoni” thats all jumbled and doesnt sound like actual english. 

“Babe, breathe” Toni says, mostly confused but also slightly concerned.

Shelby squeezes her eyes tightly closed as she takes a breath. When she opens them, she sees Toni staring back at her, waiting in anticipation for something, for her.

“I love you. Toni.” Shelby says, half expecting the earth to open and swallow her whole. When it doesn’t and shes still sitting there with Toni, her heart beating a million miles a minute, she’s not sure why she was ever scared to love another girl. This thing she has with Toni, this all encompassing feeling isnt wrong, has never been wrong. Its right and its real and it is so goddamn beautiful. She is beautiful. And she loves her with everything in her.

Toni sits stunned for a second, mouth open, blinking a few times before it really hits her. She pulls Shelby in without really thinking and kisses the fuck out of her. Their mouths clash together, Shelby not expecting the kiss right away and their teeth clink together for a moment but god even then, the kiss is good. Its rough and filled with passion. Its also filled with so much love, the emotion the two hadnt been ready to allow themselves to admit they felt. Theyre ready now though and its exciting. When Tonis tongue brushes Shelbys bottom lip, the sound Shelby lets escape her mouth is criminal. Toni takes the initiative to let her tongue in Shelbys mouth when it opens with that sinful noise and when their tongues brush together, its almost too much and not enough all at once. Shelby tries to move her head in a different direction to get a different angle to kiss Toni and accidentally brushes up against Tonis bandage.

Toni immediately pulls away after that with a wince and a groan of pain.

“Fuck this thing still stings like a bitch.” Toni huffs out, reaching a hand up to gingerly touch her bandaged forehead.

“Toni, im so sorry. How bad does it hurt?” Shelby says, voice full of concern. Shelby reaches up her hand to Tonis own hand on her forehead. “You also probably shouldn’t touch it.”

Toni allows Shelby to pull her hand away. “Dont apologize, it was an accident. The pain actually isn’t horrible, the pulsing in my head has kind of dulled. It’s manageable now at least. Should be ok in a few days, hopefully.” Toni gives a sideways grin to Shelby and with it Shelby relaxes almost instantly.

Shelby hadn’t even realized she was beginning to get overwhelmed again, seeing Toni in pain again. Toni had just read her like a book. The way that they were both able to understand the other, even without words, still managed to floor Shelby. No one had been able to do that, not even Becca.

“All the girls just want you to rest right now, myself included. I know you don’t exactly like not being active but just- do it for me? I want you better.” Shelby responds, smiling back at Toni.

Toni smirks back in response and gives her a wink “Anything for my girl” Tonis voice is light and full of love when she says those words to Shelby.

Shelby tries not to melt, but she cant help it. Toni calling her her girl, does things to her heart. She’d be lying if she said she didnt enjoy it.

There on the beach the two girls revel in the quiet and togetherness they share between just the two of them. Toni laughs and smiles and makes Shelby do the same and for the first time in days Shelby feels normal again, alive, and so fucking in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so my apologies for taking so fuckin long on this, meant to have it out days ago and then the us kinda fell apart and it definitely wasnt the time to be posting fic anyways i hope yall enjoy this chapter and leave a comment if youd like i think theres maybe one chapter left in this maybe two but we’ll see 
> 
> Find me on twitter @grogjaws

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme kno if theres wild typos/grammar issues i dont check before uploading lmao probably should but whatever


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